An Empty Nest

When my older son turned one, my husband sent me a card in the mail. It said “1 down - 17 to go”. I laughed.

I remember thinking at the time that we had so many years in front of us. Besides, this is America (not the UK where my husband was born and raised). Kids don’t really leave at 18.

Just before he was to begin Kindergarten, the school had an evening for the Kindergarten parents to meet the staff and see the school. Our son's teacher was in her final year of teaching. She looked across the room at all of our faces and said “I want to remind you that you are here to raise adults not children.” I cannot count the number of times that my husband and I have said that to each other over the years.

I never imagined when he turned one or when he went to Kindergarten that someday, I would be 53 and he would be 21. Nor did I understand that when he left to go to college at 18, the person who would ultimately return would be different. He hasn’t officially ‘left’, but in a way he has. He doesn’t need me the way that he did. At this point, he is entering his final year of college. He is a man. We are very fortunate that he is a really good man.

Our younger son is 18 and he is leaving for college in a little over a week. He is very excited and I am happy for him.

We will have an empty nest. I feel scared and sad and a bit lost. My best friend, Nancy, would say that I am in the hallway waiting to see which door opens next.