Good Enough

"Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could. So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good" - Julie Andrews, Sound of Music

When Eddie was 5, I was getting my stuff together to go out to a standing Saturday morning meeting with a few friends. Eddie was exasperated that I was leaving when I had been at work all week. He said "what is the meeting for"? I said "it helps me to be a better Mom". He said "You are good enough. Just stay with us".

I cannot say for sure whether I thought this at the time or not, but in hindsight I told myself that he was just too little and he really didn't know the correct standard for measurement. Now I look back and think "Shouldn't his opinion have been the most important one to consider?" His brother was only 2 and couldn't really weigh in.

His comment struck such a deep cord. There it is - the central issue. The tape that I play in my mind all of the time for as long as I can remember. I am not good enough. It comes from this crazy childhood belief that if I am just a good enough girl - all of my dreams will come true and nothing bad will happen. Bad things have happened and I have not gotten everything that I ever wanted. I must not be good enough.

As I am rapidly heading to 54, it is time to change the tape. Keep my focus on the things that I am grateful for and all of the good things that have happened in my life that I never could have imagined. I am exactly where and who I am supposed to be.