Wherever you go

“Wherever you go......there you are...." - Thomas a Kempis  A.D. 1400 and Uncle Bill McLaughlin sometime my Sophomore year of college

My Uncle Bill passed away this week.   He has not been well but his departure was unexpected and shocking to me.  I am grateful that he is no longer suffering.   When my Mother passed away I felt very strongly like she had 'picked the timing'.  I knew that she did not want her passing to interfere or dampen Eddie's High School Graduation or to impact my brother, Bill's wedding.  In fact, at one point she kept talking about dying in June and I said "Mom - the Dr. said that most people who stop treatment with  your cancer lived about a year - that is December not June".  She died in June.

Technically, Uncle Bill is my step-uncle, but what is the funniest part is that he is the only one of my stepmother's siblings whom I call Uncle (or Aunt).  Everyone else, I just call by their first name.  When I would write to him, most of the time I would begin with UB.  Similar to my Mom. I also feel like he in some way chose the timing of his passing.  His son, Billy, got married in August and he spent time in Jamesport (which he loved) with his wife and my stepmom in September.  I feel in some way like these were some of the last things that he wanted to see and do.  

When I was a Sophomore in college, I was having a bit of a rough patch.  UB would write to me frequently.  In those days, we didn't have email so it was cards and letters.  I so wish I had kept them.  One in particular said "Remember, wherever you go...." and you opened it and it said "....there you are".   A reminder that we cannot escape who we are....no matter where we run, we will bring with us whatever strengths, burdens or character defects that we have not addressed.  It is particularly timely to think of this card as we are moving into this house in Florida.  It is a reminder that I am still me.  I may not be as capable as I was at one time.  I may not be surrounded by all of the people that I love and the house that I love, but inside I am ok.  I am not perfect.  I have a lot to work on - but those things came with me to Florida.

I love you, Uncle Bill, and I will miss you more than you could possibly imagine.  I know that Meaghan was first on line to wrap her arms around you as the crowd that were waiting at the gate for you were cheering.  May God hold you in the palm of his hand.